42 cases! AHHHH! Run for the fucking highgrounds. Its a goddamn massacre! I now have a 1 in 8,571,428 chance of getting the pig AIDS! AHHHH The death rate is somewhere below 1… AHHHHH. Have they told me not to eat bacon yet? How do I contract it? Should I wear a face mask? Is unprotected sex with a pig dangerous? Is swine flu the same as west nile, bird flu, anthrax, and every other fucking thing but the news blows it the fuck up? Have we prayed enough to the Gods for a bounty of Chicken noodle soup, Nyquil, and not being a fucking pussy? We are all going to die.
There is a reason I stay miles away from American TV news. It’s related to the reason why I don’t think there is even a chance I will die in a terrorist bombing. I walked by a TV today and I swore I was going to die any minute.
With kisses,
Ron
